I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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