When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
