matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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