I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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