I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
