they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
