i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
