we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
