One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My liver just broke up with me...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
