i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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