She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
