Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
