Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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