How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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