PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
