i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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