3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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