Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
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