So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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