News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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