so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
you never un-have a 4some
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
