maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Dicks are not precious.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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