The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
