it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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