i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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