Small penises have feelings too.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
