my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
