Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
