I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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