Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize