Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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