How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
