What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
