dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
