your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
