Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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