I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
