I'm eating all of the evidence.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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