He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
