ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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