ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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