Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
