He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
