Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
