I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
