It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
