He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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