Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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