can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
