hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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