I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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