Just mADE A PArabola og urine
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
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