But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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