My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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